you look at me with sharp eyes,
saying with dilated pupils what i have already been hearing for years
i hear your voice inside my head
telling me that i am not enough,
or that enough,
or this enough
and the words i want to stay get stuck between my braces
and the look i want to give gets caught behind my contacts
the situation i find myself in is ruthlessly absorbing every escape i used to relay on -
but there is no way out
no green exit sign,
no clock that will end the stimulation,
nothing.
i am alone now,
safe in the only space i can be without a mask,
my heart feels cheated, crooked, con-maned,
out of oxygen
and my fingers feel abused,
tired from clenching my fists in silence all night